Ban White Shorts

It may seem absurd that I want to ban white clothing from the peloton, especially since Mama wears predominantly white robes. But I am making explicit reference to white cycling shorts.

It only recently dawned on me why the Fd'Jeux team have alternate blue cycling pants (note that Agritubel are still unaware of their faux pas).

It happened in a race a few years ago that started in perfectly good African weather – hot and balmy. Dark storm clouds soon ballooned overhead and then gushed down on us.

The water-roosters sprayed into my grime filled eyes. I perched my Oakley’s onto the edge of my nose as I looked onto the rider in front of me. It was with shock that I noticed his white shorts had become see-through, completely revealing.

There is no way to rewind a memory, or erase chunks of mind data (I contemplated a pre-frontal lobotomy, but I need all the grey matter I’ve got).

Snow professionals advise new skiers in snow abundant regions - “Don’t eat the yellow snow!"

I say that it should be emblazoned on every cyclist’s short purchase – “Don’t wear white cycling shorts in the rain!”