We and Lance

It was Paolo Bettini that did it the most. Interview after interview, he would use this reference to himself. It is one of my biggest bugbears. Bettini would refer to himself in the third person.

“Bettini will win the World Champs,” he would say. Or he would state proudly “Bettini is training well in California.”

It hurts the ear like tinnitus and causes my body to shudder uncontrollably.

I read about another cyclist who did the same. Ferdi Kübler – the famous Swiss cyclist. He is one of a few cyclists to win 3 Classics in a single year – 1951. He won Flèche Wallonne, Liège-Bastogne-Liège and the World Championships.

In one famous interchange on Mont Ventoux in the 1955 Tour de France Raphaël Geminiani warned Ferdi: “Careful on the Ventoux, it’s not like the others.”

Kübler replied “Ferdi too not like the others. Ferdi great champion.”

He blew up on the Giant of Provence and lost the stage.

He was heard to say: “Ferdi to old and sick. Ferdi committed suicide on Ventoux.”

Now we have another cyclist who is treading in this ego minefield. Proudly step in Lance Armstrong. The Texan is using "We" a lot. Now he could possibly be referring to his teammates at Astana, or his LiveStrong campaign. You make up your mind. It could also be the Royal "We".

All I can do is shake my head in dismay and wonder if all these users of the 3rd person are aware that this is the domain of royalty only. It is bad enough if the Queen uses the Royal "We".

Cyclists desist, I implore you.

David Zabriskie – The All American

There is something about Dave Z that is immensely likeable. There is a memorable quip after the London Prologue 2007 where a British reporter presumptuously asked, “Tell us about your disappointing ride.” Zabriskie answered “I never said I was disappointed, you did.” This was done in his Utahan drawl.
Another reason to like him is that he is a hard worker. He worked like a Trojan for Team CSC and gave up many chances for personal glory.

Before Landis’ fall from grace there was an excellent magazine article where Dave interviewed Floyd in a casual, tummy tickling repartee. Maybe it is because I am a WASP that I enjoyed their banter – but it is a better advertisement of intellect than say … some Spanish peasants who would be on the dole if it wasn’t for cycling. Not that intellect is a necessary factor for success – just look at … (self censored)

And he has a very attractive wife that fulfils the All-American hero tick box.

By all accounts his form is tip-top. His teammate Lucas Euser recently dropped subtle hints like: "Anyone who saw Dave train this winter knows that this guy means business and that he's the real deal. At training camp he was on fire and doing some really amazing things on the climbs."

Euser is proving to be right. Dave Z is sitting in biting distance of Levi Leipheimer after stage 2 of the ToC.

Levi is the shorter version of the All American hero, also with an attractive wife - except he is bald.

After overcoming maillot jaune tragedy, enslavement (to team leaders) and a broken vertebra Dave Z’s progress to the top step is returning. He is hot property again, and in an American team like Garmin-Slipstream he is sure to see more victories in 2009.

Crack Athletes

The professional peloton and a host of other sports, like rugby, swimming and croquet have all had cocaine positives. The problem lies in the nature of a full time crack athlete. The very nature of an athlete is obsessive/compulsive.

I haven’t taken cocaine. What for anyway.

My life has tumultuous highs and a few stupefying lows (not that I am bipolar) without any mind inducing drugs. Just two nights ago I stared at my ceiling for 4 hours because of mundane work stress and personal strife. On the way back home after finishing a 100km race on Sunday I rejoiced while listening to a Killer’s song. I hit an endorphin rush. No drugs required.

The problem is the professional athlete can’t handle the attention.

Sometimes the spotlight shines so bright that you can see the pores of the athletes’ skin. Other times the athlete is cycling for six hours in a basement in Chicago hidden from the media. Just take that bizarre cycling caricature – Ricardo Ricco. Only cycling with its slavish commitment and Spartan existence can conjure up an antagonist of his ilk. He was like a black-and-white Hollywood constructed Charlie Chaplin nemesis.

An unworldy adjustment to fans and media attention of the Tour de France kind is hard to handle. Damiano Cunego still lived with his parents up until a few years ago – like most Italian pros - even after he won the Giro. For goodness sake, grown Italian men need to have carnal relations in cars in alleyways.

Forget having WADA and Anne Griper. We need psychoanalysts of the Freudian kind nursing our fragile cyclists. Forget the whereabouts program and biological passports. What we need is Freud.


Wait a minute. I think he had a coke habit too.

Early season boredom

Most races leading up to the Milan - San Remo and the rest of the classics seem to be sprinters races. Podium places are full of Cavendish, Boonen and most recently Pettachi.

There should be a few more races that can present opportunities for the breakaway specialists and climbers. Even Allan Davis who took the Tour Down Under is actually a sprinter.

The race organisers should throw in a 5 – 8 km climb near the end of a few of these races – if possible. Qatar could build a monstrous ramp that could emulate an Alpine climb.

So while the likes of Cav and Tomeke add to their list of wins, it is up to the superior stage riders to hone their form. Patiently, they wait in the bunch knowing their turn will come.

What the classics and stage riders bring with them is emotion and stories. At the moment it is just a one liner – “So and so sprinter won.” But cycling is all about patience. And the foreplay to a great season has just begun.

Vive le cycling!